This remarkable true story is for anyone facing serious internal conflict. Life always goes on, and as little Annie says “the sun will come out tomorrow.” Even if you feel alone in this moment there is always someone, maybe someone you’d never expect, ready to step up to do what they can to help you get back on track. Inspiration for you to keep going and push further comes in unexpected ways and often from people who have been where you are before.
My family always has a large dinner for Easter, and we often invite family friends over. My Grandfather invited one of his childhood friends this past year, a man we will call Brian X. Our first introduction left the impression of a reserved, married, retired police officer who had served twenty eight years under the San Francisco police department. He had a reputation for being an honest man who always went out of his way to help anyone in any way he could. When asked how he got to where he is now, my impression of a mild-mannered average man quickly changed. I was suddenly in the presence of a heroic note of inspiration. A man representing an immense amount courage, and a testament to people’s capability to overcome any obstacle thrown in their way. He was living proof that we can save each other, and ourselves by not only being in touch with our own lives and emotions, but by being able to empathize with others.
Brian did not always lead such an average life. Growing up in Inwood, which was the last true surviving Irish ghetto, was a rough area on its own. Add in being the scrawniest kid in his class, his parents abandoning him with his grandparents because they did not truly want a child, and his grandparents abusing him because he was viewed as a burden and we have a recipe for a self-destructive disaster. Luckily he had what was the toughest gang of kids looking out for him because one of the kid’s fathers worked with Brian’s grandfather and knew what was going on.
The day Brian turned 17 he brought the papers for his grandfather to sign to allow him to serve in the Vietnam War. These were signed without question or any conversation. Brian was malnourished and was almost turned away. He begged the men in charge to not only allow him to stay in training but to send him to the front lines (AKA clearly a death wish). They did what they could for the 17 year old boy who said “Of you don’t allow me to go make my life worth something, I will die here for nothing.” After he was shipped off his grandparents took out a large life insurance policy on him and never wrote him. In the service he was an Airborne Ranger Soldier for the 75th Ranger Regiment, and also later served as a Combat Infantrymen for the 173rd Airborne Brigade Combat Team. During his deployment his team was taken captive and he was a prisoner of war in Vietnam.
His only reason for fighting to survive, what was keeping him going, as he said it “I had a death wish, and chose this path. The boys with me did not. I wasn’t scared, I was in pain, but I wasn’t scared. So I was able to think clearly. It hurt me to see what was happening to my brothers and I refused to leave them there if I could help it. I felt as if I would have been selfish if I allowed myself to get scared, or die. So I refused to.” After several months he plotted and executed an escape plan. He only lost one man while leaving the camp. When they were about ten miles from safety another man perished. Brian still upset over being forced to leave his brother during the escape refused to leave him. Brian carried this man the remaining ten miles to ensure he was returned to his family and properly buried.
After returning to safety Brian was shipped home and received multiple metals and recognitions for his service. His family however, did not even open the door for him when he returned home. Having nowhere to go and nothing but a motorcycle another service-man gave to him, he visited drove out to visit the same group of guys who had protected him as a child. The father who knew Brian’s grandfather uncovered that Brian had been sleeping on the side of the road, and had nowhere to go after visiting them. He made an offer Brian could not refuse. He bought brains motorcycle in exchange that Brian use the money to buy a car, he had Brian work around the house in exchange for housing. After a while of this, Brian was then offered to go to college “If you pass you get yourself a career and a wife and make sure my son leaves me and my wife the hell alone for Christ’s sake (said jokingly). If you fail, then you’re going to owe me.”
Brian attended San Francisco State University and studied Administration of Criminal Justice. He went on to be a well-regarded police officer for the next 28 years and married a wonderful woman (whom he was married to for 15 years when I met him in 2015). When talking about his marriage he said “It was all worth it if it led me to her. These have been the happiest, most rewarding years of my life.” Brian is still close with the group who protected him as a kid. He remained close with the man who paved the way to a future and prevented him from crumbling into himself (like so many other combat vets at the time did) until his death. However his legacy lives on.
As JFK said “One person can make a difference, and everyone should try.”
Catherine Orozco 